I’ve Changed.

Yup. The title says it all. I believe I am a completely different person from the time you last heard from me on here. However, I’ve been thinking about this blog all summer. I honestly didn’t know what to do with it anymore.

At the start of the summer, writer’s block was taking a big hit. I just couldn’t think of anything to write about, and I wanted everything I wrote to be absolutely perfect. As the summer went along, God changed me more and more into who He destined for me to be, but we’ll get to that whole story later. The more I changed, the more this blog wasn’t fitting me. It got to a point that I was almost, I guess, ashamed of what this blog was and what I was known to write.

I figured out towards the end of the summer that I am no longer the young woman obsessed with makeup and beauty and fashion and the latest trends.

I’m obsessed with Christ, and that’s exactly what I wanted my blog to be about.

Now onto how God changed me. About early June, I went to Ulta (like I usually would) to buy some makeup (that I absolutely didn’t need) because I wanted it (even though I was really trying to fill a void that only Christ could). I got home that afternoon, realized I had spent way to much money on it, and was wondering why I wasted all my money on this.

Is makeup going to make me a better person? No. Is makeup going to fill this hole in my heart? No. Is more makeup going to erase my insecurities? Absolutely not.

I want you to know I’m not bashing on makeup or what it does or people that wear a lot of it or buy it all the time. I still think it’s awesome and still love watching people do it – it’s such an incredible art form!

I removed all my makeup that I had on for the day and felt convicted to not wear makeup for the rest of the summer to just see what happens. So, I followed that calling and haven’t worn makeup in over a month.

This decision was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done – yes, I relied on makeup that much! Yet it was probably one of the best things I’ve ever done.

Having made this decision, I went some scripture that I’ve read many many times, but this time it hit me really hard.

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.”

1 Peter 3:3-5

Peter is absolutely not saying that being stylish is wrong – it’s a great way to express yourself and dress up the temple of God! However, if one focuses too much on what they are putting on the outside, the inside (the most important beauty) loses its beautiful look.

This is exactly what I was becoming – a girl so wrapped up in perfecting her outward appearance that she was missing the opportunity to work on her inner beauty. I began to realize that I so desire to be like the “holy women of the past” and adorn myself with a gentle and quiet spirit.

The Holy Spirit challenged me that day, and my life has not been the same since. Going natural has not only saved me loads of time and money but it has also allowed me to find my true confidence in Christ alone. After all, His opinion of me is what really matters!

With this decision, I was able to focus more on my relationship with Christ, and it has grown more than ever this summer.

Am I still working on it? I believe I always will be. Am I now perfect? Absolutely not, and I never will be. Do I still have insecurities? Of course I do, but they lessen more and more each day. I will always be finding myself through Christ and learning more and more that I don’t have to look or be perfect.

I ended up returning those makeup products I purchased at Ulta that day, and I felt really great when I did that. Knowing that I don’t have wear makeup to feel beautiful is an incredible feeling, and I challenge every woman out there to do the same – even if it just a day or several months, like me.

I’m at the point in my life that I am satisfied with never wearing makeup again. I’m satisfied with living a simple life, just enjoying being with people, experiencing new things, and letting go of being wrapped up in myself. I just want to love others, share Christ, and fall in love with Him more and more everyday.

With this extraordinary change in my life, I honestly didn’t know where to go with this blog. Like I mentioned earlier, it just wasn’t me anymore.

So that’s when I decided to scratch it all and change it. I desired to change the look of it, the pictures I put on it, the content I wrote, and the like. I don’t want to delete all of my old posts, however. Those posts are who I was at the time. They’re part of my story.

I truly am ecstatic to begin this new journey with you. It makes me so happy to finally have a place that feels so much more me to write anything I want and share Christ with you.

I am thankful that God gave me the ability to write and reach people – it’s become my passion.

I’m excited to see what the future holds. I’m so ready to begin college and can’t wait to share stories with you on here, especially of how Christ works in my life.

Thank you, as always, for reading.

In Him,

KB