How My Life Has Changed.
It’s actually been what seems like a lifetime since I have even been on this blog. It crosses my mind every once in a while but honestly doesn’t stick around too much.
College is hard, y’all – emotionally, physically, spiritually, and educationally. It is honestly hard to slow down and just write, especially when I’d almost rather be watching Netflix when I have a moment to breathe and relax.
So much has changed in my life. I’m halfway through college already (WHAT). I’ve been through many friends, guys, campus ministries, and Netflix binges. I’ve learned a lot, and I thought I would just write about a few things I’ve learned.
IT IS OKAY TO QUESTION. As humans, I think we are meant to question and discover the world God has given us. I took an Intro to Religious Studies class second semester of Freshmen year, and it changed my perspective on lots of things; I began to question my faith in Christ and if Christianity is even real or worth it. Things seemed to be holding me back from surrendering all of myself to Jesus a few months ago as they had been for quite a long time. It felt like every time I would get close, something would just pull be further away – temptation, doubt, apathy. Still working on all 0f that, but – thank Jesus – he walks with me through my temptation, doubt, and apathy. I’ve visited a couple of other campus ministries than the Church of Christ one I started out college with, and that has been an amazing experience. Visiting other places (even other than Church of Christ) has allowed me to understand perspectives and grow in my faith; I am able to question and talk with God about those questions to figure out what he says about it all. Among my faith, I’ve questioned so many relationships with friends, and even a few guys. I’ve especially questioned my worth through those things, but I have slowly begun to find it again through a few cherished friends and by the love of our Father. Wow, he is so cool. Questioning is good. Even Jesus questioned in the garden the night before he was crucified; he asked God if there was a different way to do this, but he followed God’s will cause he’s so good.
JESUS IS PERSONAL. On the topic of Jesus, it amazes me everyday that he was fully God AND fully human. This shows me a couple of things – that he is someone to model my life after because he is God and that he can relate to me in every way because he lived life just like me.
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet he did not sin.
This gives me so much comfort. Wow, Jesus is so cool and so good. He understands when I am weak and makes me strong. He understands when I am tempted and protects me. He understands when I feel “less than” and makes me feel “more than.” I struggle everyday to keep this in mind, but he gives me more grace everyday and continually pursues me; I am so grateful for that.
BE VULNERABLE. Being in college, I have had many opportunities to get to know people on a super deep level. I’ve grown more comfortable with being transparent and have learned that it is one of my gifts. Guys, I love being transparent and completely open with my issues. As I’m sure you know, it gets exhausting to pretend like you have it all together. NO ONE DOES. EVER. So why not just talk about it?!? Being vulnerable allows people to trust you more and you to trust yourself. I’ve learned to embrace my struggles, learn from them, and pray with friends about them. I encourage you to be more candid in your everyday life. Tell people how you feel. Don’t just say “I’m fine” or “Good” when trusted friends ask how you are. Be honest. Honestly, honesty will change your life. You’ll be surprised how much the Spirit works through vulnerability. Your openness causes others to feel comfortable to be open. Follow the little nudge the Holy Spirit gives you when you have the opportunity to open up about something. You may be nervous and your heart will race, but just GO FOR IT. Vulnerability always changes things for the better.
This season of life is so hard yet so good, and these are just a few of the most important lessons I have learned so far. I’m excited for God to continue molding me and teaching me as I walk life with Him, and I encourage you to do the same.